Interesting Times

A sad day...from CNN.com

2006-10-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Jobless man asks judge for jail time

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- A man who couldn't find steady work came up with a plan to make it through the next few years until he could collect Social Security: He robbed a bank, then handed the money to a guard and waited for police.

On Wednesday, Timothy J. Bowers told a judge a three-year prison sentence would suit him, and the judge obliged.

"At my age, the jobs available to me are minimum-wage jobs. There is age discrimination out there," Bowers, who turns 63 in a few weeks, told Judge Angela White.

The judge told him: "It's unfortunate you feel this is the only way to deal with the situation."

Bowers said he had been able to find only odd jobs after the drug wholesaler he made deliveries for closed in 2003. He walked to a bank and handed a teller a note demanding cash in an envelope. The teller gave him four $20 bills and pushed a silent alarm.

Bowers handed the money to a security guard standing in the lobby and told him it was his day to be a hero.

He pleaded guilty to robbery, and a court-ordered psychological exam found him competent.

"It's a pretty sad story when someone feels that's their only alternative," said defense attorney Jeremy W. Dodgion, who described Bowers as "a charming old man."

Prosecutors had considered arguing against putting Bowers in prison at taxpayer expense, but they worried he would do something more reckless to be put behind bars.

"It's not the financial plan I would choose, but it's a financial plan," prosecutor Dan Cable said.

The Democratic "Architect"

2006-07-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

You heard it here first, folks. Should the Democrats take back the house in November, Rahm Emanuel will be hailed the next great political "architect", much in the same fashion (but not mold) as Karl Rove.

Hamdan Opinion

2006-06-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

From Hotline on Call:

The End Of Interrogations?

"Ex-DOJ atty Marty Lederman believes he's discovered a gem (or a poison pill, depending on your point of view) in the Hamdan ruling:

'.... the Court held that Common Article 3 of Geneva aplies as a matter of treaty obligation to the conflict against Al Qaeda. That is the HUGE part of today's ruling. The commissions are the least of it. This basically resolves the debate about interrogation techniques, because Common Article 3 provides that detained persons "shall in all circumstances be treated humanely," and that "[t]o this end," certain specified acts "are and shall remain prohibited at any time and in any place whatsoever"—including "cruel treatment and torture," and "outrages upon personal dignity, in particular humiliating and degrading treatment." This standard, not limited to the restrictions of the due process clause, is much more restrictive than even the McCain Amendment'."

The Hamdan v. Rumsfeld opinion may be found here.

Flag Burning Amendment

2006-06-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

From Hotline on Call:

"We don't usually do vote tallies here, but lots of you want to know who voted against the flag amendment.
Akaka, D-Hawaii, Bennett, R-Utah, Biden, D-Del., Bingaman, D-N.M., Boxer, D-Calif., Byrd, D-W.Va., Cantwell, D-Wash., Carper, D-Del., Chafee, R-R.I., Clinton, D-N.Y., Conrad, D-N.D., Dodd, D-Conn., Dorgan, D-N.D., Durbin, D-Ill., Feingold, D-Wis., Harkin, D-Iowa, Inouye, D-Hawaii, Jeffords, I-Vt., Kennedy, D-Mass., Kerry, D-Mass., Kohl, D-Wis., Lautenberg, D-N.J., Leahy, D-Vt., Levin, D-Mich., Lieberman, D-Conn., McConnell, R-Ky., Mikulski, D-Md., Murray, D-Wash., Obama, D-Ill., Pryor, D-Ark., Reed, D-R.I., Sarbanes, D-Md., Schumer, D-N.Y., Wyden, D-Ore.

Which led to this amusing article from Iowa. 'Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., had planned to be in Clinton on Tuesday night, but stayed in Washington, D.C., for the debate on the flag-burning amendment.'

Just in case you can't read between the lines of a local newspaper... the message is that Kerry eschewed an Iowa visit in order to stay in Washington to vote against the flag-burning amendment."

Among possible presidential contenders in 2008, six voted yes: Democrat Evan Bayh of Indiana and Republicans George Allen of Virginia, Sam Brownback of Kansas, Bill Frist of Tennessee, Chuck Hagel of Nebraska, and John McCain of Arizona. Five, all Democrats, voted no: Joseph Biden of Delaware, Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York, Christopher Dodd of Connecticut, Russell Feingold of Wisconsin, and John Kerry of Massachusetts.

I am shocked, albeit pleasantly so, that the latest incarnation of the "flag desecration amendment" failed by one vote. The ability to burn the very symbol that represents the cornerstone our country is built upon—freedom—allows us to witness the broad breadth of this inalienable right.

I'd like to publicly commend those senators who, with boldness and braggadocio, stood tall and voted for freedom. I'd also like to express my dissapointment at Florida's own Bill Nelson, who voted against freedom.

Everything I needed to know I learned in Contracts II

2006-05-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

On lessons learned:
“What should you learn from that? That the employment world is a cold cruel place.”

On the UCC:
"Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten is a pretty good way to think about good faith. Play well with others, put your crayons away, no biting."

On lawyers counseling business clients:
This is a lot like going up to your friend who is getting married and saying, “Have you thought about what you’re going to do if he goes insane? What are you going to do if he decides he believes in polygamy? These are the sort of things that are rude to bring up the week before the wedding.”

On damages:
“Think of people like Willy Loman. He’s emotionally damaged and he doesn’t even know it! Contract law is cold and heartless to them.”

On being all we can be:
“Security law is a big scary area. Don’t go there unless you’re well armed. It’s like the Iraq of law. If you’re going, you need to be well prepared for everything, including the heat.”

On black sheep:
“Who is going to go look at some guy on top of, essentially, a forklift with a port-a-potty and a T.V. We’ve all got relatives that...live...well, maybe you all don’t.”

More local politics

2006-05-03T17:03:00.000-07:00

Democrat
Joe Donnelly 22347
Steve Francis 4335

Republican
Chris Chocola 17018
Tony Zirkle 7198

Steve Francis, I was proud to talk about my underwear with poll workers for you.

Vatican to Inquire about the Adoption of Contraceptives

2006-05-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

The New York Times reports that Pope Benedict XVI has undertaken an inquiry to determine whether it would be consistent with Catholic dogma to adopt contraceptives for the purpose of disease prevention under one narrow circumstance:

"Church officials recently confirmed that Pope Benedict XVI has requested a report on whether it might be acceptable for Catholics to use condoms in one narrow circumstance: to protect life inside a marriage when one partner is infected with the HIV virus or is sick with AIDS."

Incremental? Yes. Will some argue such an exception is too narrow? Yes. Is it a step in the right direction? Yes.

Karate Politics

2006-05-01T08:35:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend came up with a hilarious explanation of why Bush won the last election....it comes from the Karate Kid...

There is karate yes, there is karate no, but there is no karate maybe. You walk on left sidewalk you're ok. You walk on right sidewalk you're ok. You walk in center of road you go splat.

So apparently, the karate Kid explains why democrats pretending to be like republicans can't quite win elections.

-Note, this is his opinion, not the opinion of other people on this blog unless they agree to it. I just can't picture either candidate as fitting into the Karate Kid =P.

2006-04-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

Smithy's Code has been cracked, and the answer reveals the Honorable Judge to be an even bigger nerd than before.

1,1,2,3,5,8,13...

The Ultimate in Law Nerdery

2006-04-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

I admit that I get more enthusiastic about Contracts than is probably normal, but my law nerd status is nothing compared to Justice Smith of the High Court. In his ruling on the copyright infringement claims of the authors of "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" against Dan Brown of "The Da Vinci Code," Justice Smith incorporated his own secret code into the opinion. Apparently, no one noticed it until Justice Smith emailed a reporter asking if anyone had cracked the code yet. The Times has the story here.

Justice Smith, I salute you for making me look more normal.

In pictures: How the world is changing

2006-04-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone who honestly claims that global warming hasn't dramatically affected the world we live in during the past century should take a look at this photo essay.

Get your listen on

2006-04-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

We are lucky legal beagles: Philosophy Talk, the only radio show devoted to, uh, talking about philosophy, aired a show last week devoted entirely to philosophy of law. You can listen here.

And yes, I'm aware I'm a nerd.

The Democratic Message

2006-04-21T09:22:00.000-07:00

Democracy Corps has released a short set of policy themes that they ask Democratic candidates across the nation to espouse as we lead up to the 2006 midterm elections. They are:

Block any pay raise for Congress until the incomes of average workers begin to rise.

Replace Bush’s prescription drug plan with a simple one that controls costs.

Raise the minimum wage to $7 an hour.

Close the new tax loophole that encourages companies to move operations overseas.

Implement all the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission on Homeland Security

Inspect 100 percent of containers coming into America (currently it is 5-10%).

Repeal the cuts in all student loan programs and increase tax breaks for college costs.

Create tax incentives to expand the development of wind, solar, and biofuel technologies.

Well, this is a nice enumeration of policy initiatives that I largely agree with. But the larger problem still remains. This laundry list of policy initiatives does not flow from a crystallizing image of what the Democratic party stands for. Aside from this problem, where is Iraq? This seems like a gross oversight - given the central focus national security will surely have in at least the next two elections.

Should we set forth a definite exit strategy? Should we set forth an extraction timetable?

As well, should we throw some more "big issues" into the mix like universal health care?

Given my somewhat limited and now somewhat removed experiences in politics, I'll answer these questions the best I can.

(1) First, in regard to Iraq, I do in fact think the Democrats have settled upon a plan. Specifically, I am sure they will set forth an extraction plan based upon tangible, concrete benchmarks (for example, for every 1,000 Iraqi soldiers in the field, we remove 1000 of ours) instead of ethereal, intangible ones (when unfettered democracy reigns free).

The question then becomes, why not espouse it? Well, why should they? The Republicans are under attack. The first thing they would want us to do is set forth an affirmative position and then start lobbing attacks against it to shift focus away from their shortcomings. The best thing the Democrats can do right now is continue to levy attacks against the unified Republican government. The Republicans have the reigns, not the Democrats, so this election should primarily be a referendum on Republican governance. If it is, Democrats will win. But, if this election focuses on deficiencies in Democratic meta-policies; this will go towards minimizing our gains. We need to keep the focus on Republicans, and do to that, we need to continue to attack them - and not give them fodder to shift focus upon Democrats.

In fact, this is what the Republicans did in 1994. They did not release their "Contract for American", their set of substantive policies, until September of that election year. This gave the voters time to evaluate the proposals, limited the ability of Democrats to attack it, and allowed Republicans to savage Democrats before then. Democrats should largely adopt this strategy.

(2) Universal Healthcare: unlike the issues above, that surely tested well in polling, support for universal health care reform is not nearly as strong. Why? It is because of a paradox that plagued the 1994 push. Initially, the Democrats set forth a relatively simple plan. The plan was amended, chop jobbed, and horse traded so much in the House that what emerged was an uber-complex policy that was so nuanced that it was difficult for the average voter to understand and therefore ripe for re-framing and attack (like John Kerry?)

The trouble is, for a Universal Healthcare plan to pass the house (and quite possibly the senate), it necessarily won't remain simple. Bear in mind that in 1994, the Democrats had unified government and still couldn't pull it off. So the likelihood that such a plan would pass would be even less likely now - given that even if the Democrats take back the House and Senate we will still have a Republican president.

Why is this a problem? If you promise to do something, and then have to face the voters in '08, what will the Republican opponent say?

"This guy ran on a universal health care platform, and where is it? You are still paying high health care bills, aren't you? Or, quite possibly, you have no health care. Vote for me and I will support tax cuts that make your health care expenditures deductible".

I'm all for health care. But I am all for practical measures that have a realistic chance of passage. Let's run on universal health care in 2008. We'll have a strong, moderate, sensible Democratic candidate who will make health care his first priority and promise every American family universal health care by 2009.

P.S. Just for fun, my preferred Democratic candidates for president would be:

(1) Al Gore
(2) Evan Bayh
(3) John Kerry
(4) Mark Warner

My preferred VP list would be:

(1) Bill Nelson
(2) Barack Obama
(3) Bill Richardson
(4) Wes Clark

P.P.S. Jimmy Carter's son, Jack Carter, is running for senate in Nevada. Go Carter!

The best politics are local

2006-04-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

The South Bend Tribune is reporting that the city council is shutting its doors to the public as it considers a long delayed vote on expanding housing protections to include sexual orientation. They are attempting to get around the sunshine laws by referencing a threatened lawsuit from 2004. Advance Indiana has a story up with the relevant statutes examining the questionable legal argument for the closed-door meeting. My legal beagle status notwithstanding, I'm more interested in the practical outcome of this. Word on the street is that the measure has the votes to pass, but the sudden change of course makes me wonder if the council is getting cold feet after two years of delay. That's the best case scenario, as the local activist groups aren't going to ease their pressure and will eventually force the issue. In the more pessimistic view, there are some cloakroom negotiations going on that will eviscerate the bill, like the religious protection exemption urged by Prof. Garnett.

Regardless, I don't discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and I'm an atheist anyway. If anyone reading needs a place to stay over the summer, I'm renting out my house cheaply this summer!

Hey Martin....Sound familiar

2006-04-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

Apparently a college sports team raped an exotic dancer....

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/more/04/05/duke.lacrosse.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

Satiating your Political Fix

2006-03-31T15:27:00.000-08:00

Chris Cillizza's "The Fix" is at it again. His latest post highlights the findings of a focus group conducted by Republican pollster Frank Lutz. Lutz's focus group was comprised of likely Democratic voters in Iowa and New Hampshire. He showed ten minute clips of the top tier candidates and then asked a series of questions concerning likeability and electability. The bottom-line: the big winner was Former Virginia Governor Mark Warner and the big loser Tom Vilsack (who is an Iowan and should have had "home court" advantage, as Joey Bauer would say).

Also, John Edwards took some knocks. The voters felt that when he spoke about his signature issue, poverty, they found his rhetoric "hollow". Ouch, man.

Also, be sure to check out Cillizza's line on the most competitive house races. Things are looking good for the boys in blue.

V is for Vapid

2006-03-18T13:08:00.000-08:00

I saw a matinee of "V is for Vendetta" yesterday, and while there are many fine points, the lumbering childishness of the script makes it difficult for anyone expecting engaging fare to really enjoy.

This is particularly sad given the fact that Alan Moore, who penned the source material and asked that his name be removed from the film, is known for creating complex characters in morally ambiguous situations that blur the clear distinctions between hero and villain.* The film version casts V as a chipper Edmund Dantes who seeks to settle a personal score by destroying a government, with the liberation of oppressed people as an afterthought--if even that. The audience cannot help but sympathize with his desire for revenge, but with a few vague references to ill-defined political ideals, we're left wondering why he bothers doing things like blowing up buildings when he could just as easily murder whomever he pleases.

The inverse effect is achieved by Moore's book. There, V's personal vendetta is a diversionary tactic--he is a deranged idealist who spends more time waxing rhapsodic about Lady Justice and Lady Anarchy, the abstract concepts he loves as if they were human, than he does for Evey, for whom he has a passing affection at best. The result is both more sinister and more heroic; we fear his unrelenting and clearly insane devotion to principles over people while nevertheless cheering him on. The chief thrill of the book and the one sorely lacking in the movie is the feeling that one is on a roller coaster that may at any moment derail.

That is not to say there are not worthwhile things in the film. Weaving face is obscured by a mask for the entire film, but he nevertheless does a remarkable job conveying emotion. He does far better than Willem Dafoe's laughable "full-body acting" as the Green Goblin in Spiderman and at times redeems the script by making V a bit more believably unhinged. The choreography of the fight scenes is everything one would expect from a Matrix protégé, and despite the fact that the plot renders them senseless, V's acts of destruction are nevertheless stirring.

And while it would be a mistake to see V as a well-executed, political cautionary tale, claims that the film or source material are too paranoid mistake the nature of the material and of the relevant political situations. As Atrios points out, when the comic was written, there really were quarantine proposals for people with AIDS when it was still a "gay disease" and homosexuality was an honest to god send people to jail crime. Idaho, for example, could sentence someone to prison for 5 years to life for sodomy. That law was only overturned in 2003. We are currently seeing people calling for mass deportations and the fucking Minutemen waving Nazi flags at rallies. Let's not forget that the Minutemen have the support of a U.S. Congressman with delusions of a presidential destination.

Still, the film falls flat. Beyond the evisceration of V's character, plot difficulties abound. It would have us believe that all religious, ethnic, and sexual minorities in England were rounded up in concentration camps, but also that the existence of their extermination was secret. It is difficult to tell whether this is because the filmmakers decided to downplay the books' themes about racism or whether they simply forgot that it would be really unusual for everyone to be white. We learn of the government's use of biological weapons against its citizens in the form of a speculative "what if" that is never resolved beyond V's assertion that it is true. The murder of the heads of state and subsequent breakdown in the chain of command somehow, inexplicably, turns what would be a gruesome massacre and riot into a peaceful appreciation of fireworks.

All in all, a few well-crafted scenes and effects make it worth seeing for matinee price, but go expecting theatrical rather than intellectual craftsmanship. Better still, save your money and buy the book.

*The gold standard here is his series, The Watchmen which did for superhero comics what Unforgiven did for westerns.

John Edwards interview

2006-03-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

Chris Cillizza over at The Fix interviews John Edwards. What's interesting about this interview is that it is available on video and podcast. Check it out. For now, here is a preview:

Cillizza: Is there any downside to not being in the senate from your perspective?

Edwards: If there is I haven't figured out what it is.

Very good stuff.

Listen up

2006-03-12T21:56:00.000-08:00

All right you legal beagles, I know everyone is sad that we won't have any more classes for a whole week, so here's a con law extra to hold you over.

Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.'s 90th Birthday Speech.

Don't study too hard; it screws up the curve.

Rest in Peace, Ms. Octavia Butler

2006-03-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

"I think people really need to think what it's like to have all of society arrayed against you" - the late Octavia Butler.

My friends know, or should know, that: (1) I majored in philosophy/poli sci, and (2) I seriously dislike science fiction.

That's why it may surprise them that I once majored in english literature, and that in an african american literature class I read one of my most treasured novels - the science fiction masterpiece "Kindred", authored by the late Octavia Butler.

Now, about the book:

Dana, a modern black woman, is celebrating her twenty-sixth birthday with her new husband, when she is abruptly snatched from her home in present California and transported back to the antebellum South. Rufus, the white son of a plantation owner, is drowning; and Dana has been summoned across the years to save him. After this first summons, Dana is drawn back again and again to the plantation to protect Rufus and ensure that he will grow to manhood and father the daughter who is to become her ancestor. Each time, however, the stays grow longer and more dangerous until it is uncertain whether or not Dana's life will end, long before it has even begun.

Butler was the first black woman to achieve major success in the white-male-dominated genre of science fiction. In her writing, she subverted sci-fi stereotypes to tackle issues like racism and poverty in books like Kindred. In 1995, she became the only sci-fi writer ever to receive a MacArthur Foundation "genius" grant.

Self-described as "comfortably asocial--a hermit in the middle of Seattle--a pessimist if I'm not careful, a feminist, a Black, a former Baptist, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, and drive", we'll certainly miss you, Octavia.

Road to the White House: 2008

2006-03-04T10:03:00.000-08:00

"The Hotline" and "The Fix" release updated 2008 presidential race rankings. Largely, these rankings cohere with my opinion as to who are the frontrunners and darkhorses in '08.

Democrats:

Front-runner: Hillary Clinton

Anti-Hillary: Mark Warner (running as a moderate) and John Edwards (re-positioning himself on the left).

Dark-Horse: Al Gore (If he runs, the aspirations of Edwards and Feingold are instantly dashed.)

Republicans:

Front-runner: John McCain

Anti-McCain: George Allen

Dark-Horse: conservative darlings Newt Gingrich and Sam Brownback

My reasoning for these picks is largely reflected in the "insider opinions" reflected in the links above.

Chuck Norris > Shaq

2006-03-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

"If Chuck Norris was the coach of Miami Heat, you're damn right Shaquille O'Neil would make his free throws"

135

2006-03-02T21:22:00.000-08:00

I bowled my new high tonight despite an "injury" incurred last week whereby my right middle finger's tendon was severely strained.

Our team, "El Dude Ranchero", bowled an average of 102. Good job guys and gals!

That puts our season average at 96. Let's keep roaring towards 100!

Week one: 90
Week two: 102

On the limits of free speech

2006-02-26T09:33:00.000-08:00

Most all of us agree that free speech has its limits. Speech must comport with the protection of public safety and order (you cannot incite riots), not jeopardize national security (no dissemination of state secrets), and refrain from defamation of others. But, do these limitations adequately square the outer boundaries of free speech?

Do problems arise when the right to protest conflicts with the limitation that it must comport with public safety and order?

Let's take the Nazi marches for example. Yesterday, Nazi's marched in the great state of Florida. The Nazis registered the protest, thereby giving the city adequate notice, and as a result were accompanied by a police detail exponentially larger than their own numbers. In all, there were 22 Nazi protesters, 500 counter-protesters, and 300 police officers. The local Orlando government instituted a "Be Cool" campaign, which urged residents to be calm and largely ignore the rally.

However, violence has erupted during these marches in the past. Last year in Toledo, Ohio, over 100 people were arrested amidst rioting and looting. Interestingly enough, most were counter-demonstrators.

While much less violent that the Toledo march, violence did erupt during this march. One person was arrested after throwing punches at counter-demonstrators. As a result, the Nazi's were forced to cease their efforts 90 minutes earlier than planned.

One observer noted,

"Grandparents held the hands of their grandchildren as they watched the march from their homes.

'The older generation grew up seeing hate. They grew up seeing these kinds of groups being open and I think for some African-Americans they want the younger generations to see that hate still exists,' said Rev. O'Hara Black of Mt. Pleasant Baptist church." [Link]

I'd like to see your answers to a few questions:

(1) When violence erupts during these marches, do you believe that in some cases the Nazi's have effectively "incited" others sufficiently to breech a fundamental free speech limit?

(2) Do you believe that the counter-protesters, who it seems are largely responsible for the violence during these marches, are impinging upon the free speech of the Nazi's? Especially when the Nazis are forced to close down their legally registered marches early because of the counter-protesters actions?

(3) Do such marches actually promulgate the spread of hate? If so, what is the effect? Is it negative, for obvious reasons? Or is it positive, like the above quote indicates, in that it educates a new generation that hate indeed exists - and that it is something we must learn to live with and tolerate?

Governments don't love

2006-02-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

February 23, 2006

President Bush's remarks at Chocola for Congress reception

Bethel College Indiana Mishawaka, Indiana
[Link to full text]

"Chris [Chocola] and I understand that the role of government is limited, and it's a fact that governments don't love. Governments can dispense law and justice, but not love. And therefore, one of the most important initiatives of my tenure as your President has been to promote the faith-based and community- based initiative, which recognizes governments should welcome people of faith and helping to solve the intractable problems of our society. We should not fear faith in America. We ought to say to those who want to love their neighbor just like they'd like to be loved themselves, you should have equal access to federal money, so long as you're helping to meet a federal need. And we have a lot of need when it comes to saying to a brother or sister who's lost, I love you, what can I do to help you?"

Let's assume governments don't love. Is this because they are inherently incapable of loving, or is it because those who are entrusted to run it don't allow it to love? Regardless, is the best solution to either of the aforementioned "faith-based and community-based" initatives? Or should we focus our energies on somehow allowing the government to love, i.e., hearken back to the days of the "New Frontier" or "Great Society"?

Let's see what you think. Comment away.

For all those who have gamers in the family...

2006-02-24T05:09:00.000-08:00

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/29946

Interesting Quote

2006-02-24T04:53:00.000-08:00

"I want to get raped, dude" - Gary.

- In reference to the showcase argument and the alleged "raping" the judges were doing and the "giving as good as they're getting" of our impressive Moot Court peeps.

Defiling the Name of Christ

2006-02-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

Apparently a man who claims to be a Baptist minister named Fred Phelps has a very unique message to send to the world.

Our soldiers are dying because America allows homosexuals to exist. So, how do they spread their message?

They go to military funerals and picket, carrying signs that thank God for killing that soldier to punish the nation.

I'm glad that we have people in this nation who choose to torment bereaved mothers and fathers who have lost a child, or sisters and brothers who have lost a sibling. Better yet, shout obscenities at the funeral so that the soldier's child is ensured to be told that his father died because a guy named Bob just doesn't like girls and our country believes in freedom. Or perhaps my favorite, tell the man's widow that he died for this reason. Shout obscenities at her so she remembers that God hates her husband because other people did "bad things" while she is saying her final good-bye.

That is the message of Jesus ladies and gentlemen. Let us bring pain and suffering to those in need of comfort.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. - Matthew 5:4

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. - Matthew 5:7

Ah Fred Phelps, how well you represent Christ's love and forgiveness. There's a special place for people like you. I just don't think it's quite as pleasant as the place where you think you belong.

Jesus Hates Taco Tuesday

2006-02-21T15:24:00.000-08:00

To get confirmed, to eat tacos. That is the question.

Scary

2006-02-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

Before cranking down and doing the homework I have been procrastinating all weekend on doing [just in time to be up nice and late before a nice and early Monday morning...]...well I looked in at some pictures of the english film awards. I'm glad to see that the gown style is more appropriate...as in, not looking like something out of the Jetsons. But what really horrified me was how frighteningly thin some of those women were looking. I mean...I'm used to seeing women in Hollywood look frightening, but I looked and Renee Zelweger [and no I can't spell her name] was possibly the "heaviest" woman there. Even Charlise Theron looks like she dropped a good 25 pounds...and that woman didn't have 25 pounds to lose.

All the dresses were backless and showed off protruding rib-bones on nearly every actress. Christina Ricci was among those looking "average" in that mob.

I understand the pressure for women in Hollywood to be thinner than the "average" skinny person...but that was just...horrifying.

These women would make pre-pregnancy Britney Spears look overweight...and that's just WRONG.

I mean, some women are naturally tiny. Good for them...but when our voluptuous Marilyn Monroe-type actresses are looking like they are at the final stages of receiving Chemotherapy...this is a health concern as well as something disturbing for society as a whole who puts these women up in front of young girls as "role models."

And people wonder why our teenage girls have a horrible self-image! Before they could even get close to that slender they would be checked into an eating disorder institute out of concern for their lives.

I am not certain why we think women should all resemble the corpses from the Hollocaust, because frankly, that's exactly what they looked like.

I hope cnn.com doesn't mind....but I included one of the pictures. By the way, the woman on the right is a designer of dresses. Sadly I'd hoped maybe she was an actress...sadly she just makes their gowns.

Watch "The Apprentice" - Root for Pepi

2006-02-15T16:00:00.000-08:00

I've known Pepi since we went to the same high school and will always be thankful that he appointed me to the University of Miami supreme court during his tenure as student body president.

He is a very good hearted, ambitious guy. I think he'll go far on the show.

But, do I think he'll become the next apprentice?

You better believe it.

131

2006-02-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

Will "Gary" surpass his season high bowling score of 131? Will he require "juice", aka serious amounts of alcoholic beverages, to do so? Will Martin continue to do his imitation of "Saturday Evening with the Geriatrics" with every delivery? Will Christineh even make it, given her sudden (and slightly overplayed) bought of the flu? Tune in tonight at ND Law bowling to find out!

Until then, back to Property.

Another Smear Upon the Clinton Legacy?

2006-02-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

Notre Dame 2L Brendan Loy reports that things are not exactly peaches and cream in Ireland.

"The interminable process of trying to get a functional Devolved government up & running in the dysfunctional statelet of Northern Ireland has sputtered to a start. Again..."

While this doesn't necessarily smell trouble, I'm sure "Big Bill" isn't liking it one bit, as peace in Ireland was a significant cornerstone in his presidential legacy. Oh yeah. The Irish are probably not liking it either.

Save the Whales

2006-02-08T14:31:00.000-08:00

For those of you in Prof Moo's legal writing class (Zipfel, that's you), the American Constitution Society's blog has a post today about the expansion of everyone's favorite statute, the ADA. You can skip right to the debate at Legal Affairs here.

Peanut-butter and Jell-o Sandwich

2006-02-08T14:14:00.000-08:00

OK. I had an insane craving for a good ol' PBJ. I went to Martins, the nearest provider of required materials. I walked in, grabbed PB. Bread. Jelly. And then went and grabbed a few other random items I had wanted to grab including these tasty Campbell's heat and sip soups...the ultimate in lazy cousine.

I get home...ready for my jelly...and even though I was CHARGED for my jelly...there was, alas, no jelly to be found in my bag.

I scoured the fridge...no jelly there either. Yes, I am pathetic enough not to have had basic essentials like bread, peanut-butter or jelly....

So I did what any other red-blooded american would have done. I busted out the strawberry jello snack cup and put that on instead. It's goopy fruit-tasting stuff...not quite jelly, but I suppose it will do.

Plus, it's fat free, sugar free, and 0 calories....until you add in the bread and the fatty peanut-butter.....

The Apprentice

2006-02-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine who went to my high school and college has been accepted to participate in The Apprentice television show. When his name and bio are released on the official Apprentice website, I'll comment further and provide appropriate links.

I think he is perfectly suited for the show. I also think he has a great chance of winning the entire thing.

Again, more details tomorrow.

Annoyance

2006-02-07T14:15:00.000-08:00

I really try to not hate people. I really really try. But I swear, whenever Aaron Fricke takes over class to go off on some random tangent about some [probably] fabricated part of his life experience that he thinks interest us.... Well, I just want to rip out my own arm just to have something to hit him with.

Former Governor Bob Martinez: Harder for Republicans to Beat Davis

2006-02-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

Race for Governor, Florida, billed as a "personal commentary on the upcoming 2006 Florida gubernatorial election", posts that:

"A few weeks ago, former Republican Governor [Bob] Martinez admitted that Rod Smith would be:
'harder [for Republicans] to beat than Jim Davis.'
Smith has the potential to appeal to both liberals and conservatives. It is widely believed that Smith is a threat to the North Florida vote that Republicans hold so dear. Jim Davis would not have a prayer in this area. Our only hope as a party is to get Smith on the ballot. Getting a Democrat in the Governor's mansion is going hard enough, getting Davis elected just simply will not ever happen."

I agree in part. As mentioned, Rod Smith has unseated Republican incumbents largely based on his populist overtures and his history as a state prosecutor. Davis has no such credentials. This may be a classic case of misdirection whereby a Republican operative goes on record "juicing up" a candidate (who they believe would be the least threatening) in hopes of them winning the primary.

I disagree with the statement that "getting Davis elected just simply will not ever happen". I think Davis would certainly have a strong chance to be elected. He is a credible candidate who would certainly benefit from the national tide that roars against the Republican party in the midst of lobbyist scandals and general mismanagement of our government.

I simply believe Davis has a much better chance of winning because of what politicos call "crossover appeal", or the ability to garner votes from the opposing political party.

"Why I Like" All the Major Florida Gubernatorial Candidates

2006-02-05T21:16:00.000-08:00

O'Blog has an interesting series whereby he states the reasons he likes each of the Florida gubernatorial candidates. I particularly like the one that mentions my favored candidate, Rod Smith.

"I like Rod Smith, Democratic candidate for Governor of Florida, because he is moderate. I think this is a good thing, especially considering the 30-40-30 rule, which states that in any given election, 30% of voters will vote Democrat no matter what (Blue voters), 30% will vote Republican no matter what (Red voters) and 40% are somewhere in the middle (Purple voters?). And since the Purple 40 represents the most voters, one could say (at great risk of ridicule) that Rod Smith is the candidate most in touch with the people of Florida. That's why I like him."

I'll agree with most of this (I don't know if I like/agree with the linked "most in touch" reference). However, in a recent post, I analyze in more depth the reasons why I think Rod is the most appealing candidate to Floridians. Anyhow, lets continue:

"I also like Rod Smith because he is from Gainesville. And Gainesville, in case you did not know, is not Miami. The good folks in south Florida have dominated state politics for far too long, so a Governor from north Florida seems like a good idea to me."

Wait a minute there, bucko. There is nothing wrong with Miami, or South Florida, politicians. There have been plenty of North Floridians that have held the governors mansion. In fact, the majority of Florida governors have not been from South Florida (including my two favorite, Reuben Askew and Lawton Chiles).

I must admit, though, that Jeb Bush claims to "hail" from South Florida. That is one South Floridian I'll gladly see leave the Governors mansion.

Jerome, and ND, are Winners

2006-02-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

I am shocked at the sheer paucity of of Notre Dame students who don't know that Jerome "the Bus" Bettis was a Notre Dame graduate. Bettis, known not for his speed but for his bruising running style, capped off his professional football career with a 21-10 Superbowl victory over the Seattle Seahawks.

This win is not only is indicative of a great individual career (Bettis) and a great football team (the Pittsburgh Steelers) but also of a great college football program - Notre Dame. And to think, all this would have been for naught had it not been for a promise made by one popularly known as "Big Ben".

As some may remember, Pittsburgh lost the AFC championship game last year. For those unfamiliar with football, this is the game whose victor goes on to represent one of two conferences in the Superbowl.

As the Steelers loss became inevitable during that game, Bettis had already made it known to the team that he wanted to retire. However, on the sidelines, as the clock ticked to zero, rookie phenom quarterback"Big Ben" Roethlisberger promised Bettis a chance at the Superbowl the following year if he didn't retire.

Big Ben kept his promise.

Bettis, a shadow of his former self, rushed for a respectable 43 yards on 14 carries, primarily as a third down back. Certainly, such a performance is not indicative of his 13,662 career rushing yards - 5th all-time. However, this wasn't about individual performances. This was about Bettis capping off a certain Hall of Fame career with a Superbowl win. How sweet it is.

So, if you were for any chance rooting for Seattle, bear in mind that all Domers had a stake in the win tonight; because "the Bus" has bashed, bruised, crushed, and romped to a Superbowl win. And in doing so, added further flicker and flash to the brilliance of Notre Dame football.

Personal Responsibility

2006-01-31T21:42:00.000-08:00

America is a great force for freedom and prosperity. Yet our greatness is not measured in power or luxuries, but by who we are and how we treat one another. So we strive to be a compassionate, decent, hopeful society.

In recent years, America has become a more hopeful nation. Violent crime rates have fallen to their lowest levels since the 1970's. Welfare cases have dropped by more than half over the past decade. Drug use among youth is down 19 percent since 2001. There are fewer abortions in America than at any point in the last three decades, and the number of children born to teenage mothers has been falling for a dozen years in a row.

These gains are evidence of a quiet transformation, a revolution of conscience in which a rising generation is finding that a life of personal responsibility is a life of fulfillment. Government has played a role. Wise policies such as welfare reform, drug education and support for abstinence and adoption have made a difference in the character of our country. And everyone here tonight, Democrat and Republican, has a right to be proud of this record.

President George W. Bush
State of the Union Address
January 31, 2006

In honor of the great orator - Martin

2006-01-31T07:07:00.000-08:00

Environmentally Friendly Litter

2006-01-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

I was in the line of a drive-thru tonight getting some food. Someone in the car in front of me threw a cigarette out of their window and I watched it burn a little bit on the ground before finally going out. I thought to myself: geez, what jerks. I mean seriously, I respect that some people enjoy smoking. I think they're friggin crazy, because it 1) smells like ass, 2) tastes like ass [yes I've tried it] and 3) IT KILLS YOU.... Yeah nicotine high is pretty nice and withdrawls suck, but I seriously can't understand why someone wants to smell like rotting garbage all day long. My main fascination with smoking was that when I got trashed, I was enthralled by the whole concept of ashing. I would make my neighbors take puffs off of my cigarette just to get it so I could ash again. It was just neat when I'd had about 10 shots of booze. Outside of that neat phenomenon [which if you're patient you can recreate with incense and smell pretty afterwards] I am not a fan.

Now, after my anti-smoking personal soap-box grumbling, I looked at the car. It had a St. Mary's sticker in the back window. I realized: oh, college kids. That means they could be 18 and just happy to be out of Mom and Dad's house. Fine...rebelliousness, I gotcha.

I then looked down and saw that it was an Indiana license plate and that the car was a Jeep. It wasn't until I noticed "Environment" and the bald eagle on the license plate that I started to laugh.

We have one of the bigger Jeeps, the ones designed to fit a small family of 10 comfortably in the trunk, with a college kid flipping a dead ciggy out the window...all with "enviornment" and the bald eagle to show how much they care about the world around them.

God Bless their hypocritical little hearts.

Florida Gubernatorial Race

2006-01-29T10:31:00.000-08:00

First off, Florida is mischaracterized as a "swing state". This conclusion is not based on our congressional delegation, which, at 18-7, is heavily skewed towards Republicans because of redistricting tactics. Hopefully, voters will approve a measure this upcoming November which would institute a non-partisan committee that will eliminate "gerrymandering" and completely redraw the congressional lines. But I digress...

Ignoring useless voter registration data, a significant portion of Florida Democrats began voting Republican during the "Reagan era". While this may not be characteristic of all who "converted" during this era, taxes and "bloated and inefficient" social services seem to be the issues that prompted conversion. The "religious right" is not as major a factor in Florida politics as it is in other parts of the country (Deep South and Midwest), however it still holds sway in Republican primaries, since they vote disproportionate to their size. The injection of the Cuban populace (approximately 10% of the state population), who vote disproportionaly Republican and who also vote disproportionately to their size in primaries, has led to the election of a Cuban Senator (Mel Martinez) and 3 representatives (Ros-Lehtinen, and the Diaz-Balarts). It is the Cuban vote, and disaffected "Reagan Democrats", who tilt the state to the right.

The Florida gubernatorial race is, objectively speaking, the most interesting (and intriguing) race of the upcoming election cycle. Popular incumbent John Ellis Bush, cleverly truncated with the acronymic device "Jeb", is term limited. While his future plans are unknown, the race to replace him is certainly wide open. Two Republicans, Attorney General Charlie Crist and CFO Tom Gallager, face off the the Republican primary. U.S. Representative Jim Davis and State Senator Rod Smith face off in the Democratic primary. What follows is a brief profile of each candidate, and my predictions as to the fate of each:

Republicans:

Mostly because of the above, Republicans are slightly favored to keep the seat. I say "slightly" because the recent Abramoff scandals and generally low popularity of the president have taken its toll on the Republican party in Florida. Still, it is their seat to lose.

Charlie Crist: He is the favorite of "big business". the Cubans and Donald Trump (a Florida resident). He has raised $7 million, nearly half of the $15 million all candidates from both parties have raised. Crist has won two statewide elections, as Education Commissioner and most recently Attorney General.

Tom Gallager: Gallager is running to the right of Crist, and as a result has gained the de facto support of the "religious right" - a group that could comprise nearly 20% of primary voters on September 7. Gallager has run for statewide office more than a half-dozen times. His name identification is high, and he has raised $5.3 million dollars, ensuring a bruising primary for the Republican nomination. More of a "policy wonk" than Crist, Gallager is familiar with the issues and overshadowed Crist in a recent debate.

Democrats:

The Abramoff scandal, Bush's low popularity, and the guarantee of a bloody Republican primary bode well for the Democrats. However, neither candidate has raised nearly as much money as their Republican counterparts. Parity will be achieved, however, since the Republican candidates will surely blow their stuffed coffers during the primary. Neither Democratic candidate has run statewide, and as a result 3 out of 4 likely democratic primary voters don't know how they will vote. The major endorsement they are fighting for is the Teachers Union, Big Labor and Blacks (Davis has won support from U.S. Reps. Corrine Brown and Alcee Hastings, two prominent black leaders). However, unlike the Republican primary, the Democratic primary will most likely be low key, largely because Democrats can't afford a bloodbath and expect to win in November.

Jim Davis: Smith has been endorsed by former governor and U.S. Sen. Bob Graham, former Democratic Party Chairman Scott Maddox, former Lt. Gov. Buddy MacKay and Rhea Chiles, the widow of popular former Gov. Lawton Chiles. Davis has raised $1.6 million. Republicans plan to cast Davis as a liberal, because his voting record in the House has adhered closely with the party line. His speeches are not real fiery, and some have compared him to a dose of "Sominex". However, he is slightly favored to take the nomination.

Rod Smith: Smith's is endorsed by former Attorney General Bob Butterworth, and a whole passel of state lawmakers and law-enforcement officials, including several sheriffs in predominately republican counties. These endorsements come as a result of Smith's "law and order" credentials gained during his tenure as a prosecutor. Smith has raised $1.3 million. Smith is the only Democrat who has unseated two Republican incumbents in Florida's heartland. Smith's populist ideology and "law and order" credentials have garnered him significant "crossover appeal" from Republicans. In a recent debate, the crowd was enamored with Smith, largely in part because of his humor and ability to connect with the average voter (he worked on his father's dirt farm).

Prediction: Crist will take the Republican nomination in a close election, largely because he has more money and the backing of most of the Republican infrastructure in the state. Smith will take the Democratic nomination, largely because his populist message will appeal to the Teachers Union and Big Labor. In the general, Smith will come out the winner. He connects with voters much better than Crist, his populist message will have appeal, his credentials as a "law and order" candidate will continue to invite crossover votes from Republicans as it has in the past, and the external Abramoff scandals and low Bush popularity will further serve to catapult Smith to victory.

Republican Primary: Crist 52%, Gallagher 48%.
Democratic Primary: Smith 54%, Davis 46%.

General Election: Smith 51%, Crist 49%.

Coffee, Doughnuts, and Panic

2006-01-27T09:36:00.000-08:00

Well...I know stress can throw off your cycle and whatnot...but I just think that a full week late is a bit much...maybe Wal*Mart will have a special on home pregnancy tests this week.

Field Notes

2006-01-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

Another dispatch from the front lines: In His Own Defense, the moving story of Charlie Demosthenous. If you're going to flout basic rules of journalism, this is the way to do it. There are better ways to do public defense, of course.

It's about damn time.

2006-01-19T11:14:00.000-08:00

Look, I'm not from Indiana, and my home state can lay no claim to efficient or sensible governance, but never have I seen anything more pointless than the debates over the time zones. Reading letters to the editor about it is like watching people argue over whether we should drive on the left or right side of the road: which side you choose doesn't matter so much as everyone choosing the same one.

Indiana still isn't all on the same time zone, but at least they'll all be observing daylight savings time now. That's a blessing to us non-Hoosiers who have no idea why it is such a big deal for Indiana to observe the same time zones as the rest of the country (save Hawaii and Arizona). If there's ever an argument for a strong central government, it's Indiana's inability to figure out what time it is.

Something Amusing and Something Annoying

2006-01-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

http://stupidcriminalfile.blogspot.com/

Well, in light of our crim law grades getting back to us around now, I figured everyone could use a good smirk about stupid criminals.

I'm still annoyed that I don't have my grades. I've heard back from a few firms, but everyone seems to not want anything to do with me until I have my grades back. I'm concerned that I'm going to be the only person without anything to do this summer, I swear.

Sigh. Why can't they just grade faster or something. They've had our tests for almost a month. I know that they have families and need a break too for the holidays, but seriously. Assume it takes an hour to grade each test. That's 90 hours of work for most of the professors. Split that up and it should only take them 12 8 hour days. It's Jan. 10th. They could have our grades to us by now so we can get them to employers and try to sneak in before they get all their spots filled!

Who am I kidding, though, my grades suck and I'm not sure that I'm even going to get a spot, but at least I'll know what I'm working against [or with] when I get those grades back! I'm frustrated.

Southern Fried Lawyer

2006-01-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

The holiday receptions at firms were about what I expected them to be. I can see the attractions of firm life, but I'm not much at home in that scene. Having decided that, I got in touch with a lawyer in my home town who has only recently hung up his shingle and done so in quite modest surroundings. Things I did today:

Hung out with a bail bondsman as he told us about the time someone tried to kill his partner with a sawblade.
Tried to convince a lawyer from child services to run for an opening on the family court, an election she says she will never win because she can not and does not desire to grow a penis.
Bent some speed limits on some back country roads as I drove my boss to the courthouse when he realized he was two hours late for an appearance. (It wasn't his fault, really, and everything worked out okay.)
Met all the secretaries and court clerks in the courthouse as they scolded my boss for having forgotten to give them his usual gift of custom made white chocolate. Then they hugged him and wished him a happy new year.
Listened to my boss and his colleagus compare stories about their favorite clients' escape attempts, some of which were (temporarily) successful.
Had more conversations about crystal meth production, use, and penalties in an hour than I'd previously had in my life.

Naturally, I'm going back tomorrow.

The First Grade

2006-01-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

Legal Research: C+

I about keeled over when I saw that. My first C+ ever. I am going to go and do something. I'm not sure what...after Christmas I need to seriously diet so I am not allowing myself chocolate or alcohol so that's out.... I think I will boycott exercise today. Yeah. No exercise in protest of the grade...instead...hmm....I think I'll take a nap. Ha. I'll show them. Nap time. I'm going to nap.

Look out, the future is coming!

2005-12-17T10:20:00.000-08:00

Now that first semester exams are over, I want to thank Gary the 24-hour wonder and "test-taking gene" Christineh for putting up with me for the last few months, and particularly for the surprise party. My memories of first semester probably won't be quite so fond once I'm humbled by the return of my bad grades, but I'm glad to have spent it with you guys.

In the meantime, here's a nice war story about the troubles a newly minted prosecutor can anticipate in districts that don't allow entry level employees valuable prosecutorial discretion.

Kamikazi 1L

2005-12-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

This is the smile of the kamikazi 1L...getting ready to fly over that Torts final to crash...and burn....

I'm So Screwed

2005-12-13T17:11:00.000-08:00

It's 8:10 p.m. I have not finished the last two weeks of Torts readings nor have I begun studying for the final. I'm so screwed.

That's what I get for procrastinating.

Preaching The Truth

2005-12-13T09:47:00.000-08:00

This is from an email I got, and I was amused.

->

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and the less important ones just never go away.

Freaky Dream About Hooking Up With A Classmate

2005-12-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

OK.....

So I opted to keep snoozing this morning instead of getting up to study some more.

Well, as it turns out, I started having a dream that made me wish that I had just gotten out of bed and studied.

See, in the dream I was in a house and when I first woke up I was in a bed and a lot of my cousins were in teh room with me getting ready for a wedding. Apparently one of them was getting married, but it was one who was already married. I couldn't figure out what was going on. By the way, I'd never been in the house before. It was decorated with this cutsie country decoration.

What was wierd was that there were these birds battling to get into the house....I was like, huh. Things were going wierd in the house....people just seemed to be acting oddly. It was nothing I could put my finger on, but they were acting like people who had died in the last years were still alive, even though I am clearly the same age I am now.

Well, one of the birds gets in and starts pecking at me and telling me the world is dissolving.

I am trying to get rid of the bird and it punctures my ear drum while pecking into my ear. I pass out and when I wake up things are different. The birds are there in the room, telling me that the world is falling apart. Think finch sized blue jays....

So the house now has wood floors and is decorated more like a house from the 70s in terms of colors.

I try to walk outside and a dog that looks like someone put it in a lion costume comes up to me and tells me the world is falling apart and there are few people left. So I go out roaming and I have one of the birds on my shoulder and the dog at my side.

So I find two or three fellow 1L's and I have decided I need to find my boyfriend. I find people I haven't seen in years...and thigns get wierd...the sky turns dark brown and the lion-dog says to me "it's time to go home and sleep now" and the bird says "the sky is crumbling"

So I start running home wtih the dog nad the bird...and one of the 1L's and a few old friends are with me.

WEll we all fall asleep again, and when we wake up the house is almost like it is under construction...there are no carpets on the ground, it's just foundation, and the appliances haven't been plugged in and are just sitting in the middle of the kitchen. But on the walls there are pictures of me and one of the 1L's....and we're married. I look at the picture of me and him and say "that's not right..." and he looks at the pictures...according to the pictures we're married with kids...but we both are like 'what the crap?"

So the bird tells us "most of the others are gone, your memories will soon fade" and I look out the window and I see the sky is pitch black...not just night time black....something deeper....and it looks like it's raining light. The lion-dog is there and it tells me that the stars are falling.

So I go outside and there are wierd creatures everywhere...like all the statues of the world have life, but all the people were gone.

SO the 1L guy grabs me and we go back into the room because we're afraid the statues are going to eat us....

And we are sitting there figuring out how we are going to find our loved ones...but then our memories started to fade and for some reason we were thinking that we were actually married....it was like something out of Stepford Wives or something....and we start hooking up....yes, got the mad jiggy on in my dream with a fellow 1L....hence he is unnamed.... and then I'm like....but what about my boyfriend...I'm cheating on my boyfriend...but that just keeps fading in and out....

In the dream teh other 1L was quite good in bed....but the whole remembering boyfriend in real life while having sex in dream with classmate....I just woke up feeling absolutely filthy =P.

I don't want to study

2005-12-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

I just want to play. Is that so much to ask for? I want to frollic and detour and not study for my finals. I understand the whole "responsible adult" thing, but that doesn't mean I'm a fan of following that whole "work ethic" thing.

I'm down with Joey B., ya you know me.

2005-12-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

[Photo and accompanying "jab" courtesy of Alex Paul, Bauer Torah author.]

I'm down with Joey B., even though the only time I was called on in class (early November) I didn't do the reading. Instead of conceding this, I stubbornly proceeded to answer the question. I started off strong, reciting the facts, pretty much reading verbatim from the famous, or infamous (to those who don't have or scorn it), "Bauer Torah".

He asks for the holding. I give the holding. Then, he back pedals and asks nuanced details about the facts. Basically, nothing we'll see on the exam. I started giving a BS answer, and then he asks, "Did you hear the question?" I answered in the affirmative. Of course I heard the question. Why else would I be trying to answer it? "Did you understand the question?", "Did you read?", or even "Do you care?" would've been more apropos. However, I probably would have elicited an affirmative answer to any of those questions anyway. So yes, I've had some hard feelings about that for awhile.

So why bring this up now? Nostalgia. Reading E&E, the authoritative CivPro bible for the decades, got me thinking about the days of "Pennoyer", "Hanson and Denkla", "Gray Radiator", "BK", and "Asahi". Burker King crowns, yes. Japanese beer, no. So naturally, when I came upon subject matter jurisdiction, I was reminded of this infamous day.

But I'm still down with Joey B. Anyone who calls themselves a "liberal" at ND without shame, in front of 90 or so students, deserves my respect. And a bobble head of themselves.

So this tribute of sorts is dedicated to you, Joey B. Keep up the good work - just cut me a break next time and save the smart retorts for someone who doesn't care. Or maybe, just maybe, I should just say "Sorry sir, I didn't read". Yeah, right.

Time keeps movin' on

2005-12-06T13:05:00.000-08:00

Cripes. As a number of other 1Ls and I learned to our dismay this afternoon, the clock in Debbie Sumption's office is about 5 minutes faster than the clock in the library. That is a hard lesson against last minute revisions.

Oh well. It's only 70% of the grade. *grumble grumble*

A Vote

2005-12-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

OK.

Here is the deal.

I have a (former) friend from back home, D. For two weeks around Thanksgiving, a mutual close female friend of both of ours, L, visited him. Her mother remarried and after having a new child with her second husband, decided that she wanted to "forget" about her first marriage. Which included forgetting about her three children from the previous marriage. While the older two children are married and have integrated into the families of their spouses, she is now essentially without family.

Approximately one year ago she was raped. Since then she has not been intimate with a man because of post traumatic stress following her rape, which was aggravated during her trial. After being raped, she vowed not to have sex again until it was with a man she could trust, and with whom there was mutual love.

L has loved D for the last five years. They dated on and off in high school, but it was clear D needed to do some growing up before anything would work.

D has been notriously known among our group of friends as a "nice guy" and has the most wonderfully sweet parents known to man kind.

On Thanksgiving, D lied to L, saying that he did love her. Afterwards he talked about her moving in with him since she was still somewhat out of a place to go. Whereas she suggested they get a two bedroom in order to have some "space", he insisted that they should have the one bedroom.

After she arrived back home at her sister's house [where she has been staying in what will soon be the nursery], she called him to let him know she was home safe. He then told her that he had lied to her simply to get her into bed.

This is one of those notorious "nice guys"...his big thing is that he always gripes about how nice guys finish last and whatnot.

Now, I realized I have his parents' phone number. I would like nothing more than to call and let them know just what their son did. See, if it had been to a complete stranger, that would have been one thing. This was to a friend who was 1) vulnerable following her rape, 2) in love with him, and 3) in a position where she had very few people in the world to go to who actually want her around. Also, as her primary confidante, he knew all of this better than anyone else. He was the one she would call at night when she had her nightmares following the rape and he would sing her to sleep.

Now...I vote for calling the mom and letting her know what her son did. The parents are very Christian and would disaprove of this in the extreme, especially since they have been like a second set of parents to the girl.

So a show of hands: who says call the bastards mother?

Archaeologist.

2005-12-04T09:54:00.000-08:00

As I was digging out my car, I thought about my friend's brother who is an archaeologist. When it came down to it, most of what this guy did was dig around in dirt and dust off pieces of old stuff (to over simplify). I made the connection to me dusting all the snow off of my car...perhaps it's just the mental dementia from the legal writing final, but the connection was made.

Then I thought...why the hell would anyone say "I want to go dig in the sand for the rest of my life." It's very valuable work for determining historical information, and you might find something terribly interesting. But honestly, most of what you're going to find is something we've already seen a thousand times. Very rarely do they ever find something news-worthy or something that shakes up the foundations of what we knew about X, Y, or Z. So basically they go and play in the giant sand box of the world all day and probably aren't going to get much done.

I figure, hey, if they really want to dig around all day, then they can come out here and dig out my car. Let them be the ones with the frozen hands and the sore arms from scraping off the ice! Shoot, if they really want to discover things, I'll go and buy those little chocolate coins and bury them in the snow before they start...then they can discover their own little "treasure" while they're working and even eat it when the chocolate thaws.

I think this is a sign that I have finally lost it.

Blog against racism day

2005-12-01T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today is Blog Against Racism Day (as well as World AIDS day) so I went through some things I'd written recently and decided to add my contribution on the shenanigans being employed against affirmative action.

The principal players here are Southern Illinois University Carbondale, the Department of Justice, and Roger Clegg of the misnamed Center for Equal Opportunity.

The charge is this: by establishing fellowships targeted toward increasing enrollment of blacks, hispanics, and women in the graduate school, SIUC has implemented a policy of racial and sexual discrimination against white males. This is Clegg's one-note chorus, as a quick skip through the NRO archives shows.

It takes a special kind of racist to see an 8% combined population of blacks and hispanics at a graduate school and sue (or in Clegg's case, support the suit against) the university for discrimination against whites. For those of you keeping track at home, blacks and hispanics comprise 26% of the national population.

Folks who oppose affirmative action point to this sort of thing as the precise reason that the policy should be put to rest: the law cannot and ought not differentiate parties on the basis of race, and therefore any policy of racial preference is bound to run afoul of the principle of blind justice.

This position hovers somewhere between depressing naivete and willful ignorance. Justice is far from blind, as non-whites in general and blacks and hispanics in particular are more likely to be arrested and convicted than whites, receive harsher penalties for the same crime, and are less likely to be paroled or have their sentences overturned. Complaining about AA's offense to blind justice while such inequities as these persist is like complaining a passenger on the Titantic complaining about the lack of hors d'oeuvres. Even granting the legitimacy of the complaint (which I don't) the surrounding circumstances render it insignificant.

The willful ignorance comes in when, having realized the existence--though not necessarily the scope--of these deep inequities, opponents of AA persist in the argument that the policy is unfair or, alternatively, not pragmatic. The latter is patently ridiculous. If, in the presence of a policy favorable to minority candidates there is still a gap of 18% points between the student population and the general population, removing the favorable policy will do nothing but make the disparity more pronounced. The argument from fairness is more troubling.

It seems obvious to me that fairness is an issue here, but given the dramatic underrepresentation of blacks and hispanics in the graduate program and the larger issues of poverty and discrimination, it is the white students who benefit from the unfair advantage of not having to compete with a large portion of the population. The alternative formulation of this is that the white students are starting the race halfway down the track.

Clegg's solution to this is that universities implement programs to assist disadvantaged students from all backgrounds without reference to race or gender. While superficially appealing (and more legally robust), this fails to address the very problems Affirmative Action sets out to mitigate: racism and sexism.

Consider: A poor black girl and a poor white boy are both disadvantaged, but even holding geography, education, and income constant the black girl carries additional burdens dependent only upon race and gender. With only an economic program, these cases are treated as if they were identical, yielding a free-market "meritocracy" of the type that existed prior to AA, albeit one that is scaled down and specific to poverty. Racism and sexism persist , independent of (though interacting with) economic status.

People like Roger Clegg don't address this issue. It is as if it does not exist. To the extent they even recognize racism and sexism as discrimination independent of the particular difficulties imposed by poverty, they simply ignore them and clamor for blind applications, decrying all else as racial/sexual discrimination or, if one is reading between the lines, racism and sexism.*

There is the rub. Awareness of race (or gender) is not racism (or sexism)--indeed, awareness of race (or..oh, you get the idea.) is a necessary predicate for recognizing the very existence of racism. Racism, in the abstract, is a weighted preference based on race within a social system, but in the concrete (i.e. the United States in 2005) it is a pervasive system of valorization of and preference for whiteness. Particular instances of people refusing to hire non-whites or groups like Stormfront spouting their nonsense are merely expressions of this larger phenomenon--as is the disproportionate overrepresentation of whites in graduate study. The latter is more subtle than the former, but it is no less a result of American society's overall favorable treatment of whites. The AA policy is an attempt to counter and correct that inequity. To treat AA as the same sort of discrimination as that which it seeks to correct is to misunderstand the problem completely. There is no pervasive cultural preference for non-whites, and so no such racism to be given expression through AA.

This is all wasted breath, of course. People like Clegg have no real interest in creating a more equitable society, as is evidenced by his selective focus on the plight of already over-represented white males in schools promoting AA while ignoring much more dramatic and pernicious inequalities that affect nonwhites and women.

*Clegg studiously avoids using the words racism or sexism to describe affirmative action, preferring the term discrimination, though his usage is in no way different from older critiques of AA as "reverse-racism," reverse sexism, reverse discrimination or racism and sexism proper.

And this was a good idea why?

2005-12-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

Have you ever sat there and wondered "what the hell were they thinking?"

Take Jamestown. Everyone is dying of malaria, they had no food, and they somehow thought it a good idea to stay put. You know the Native Americans were looking at them and thinking "friggin morons"...but then of course they learned a very important lesson. Those weren't just ordinary morons. They were filthy disease carrying morons...so small pocks took care of them....
Then you look at the first people to settle in Florida...when the first hurricane ran them over, I can see them saying "wow, that was friggin wierd...bet that won't happen again"...but when they kept getting run over by hurricanes, you would have thought someone would have said "hey, you know what, maybe this whole living here thing wasn't such a good idea."

Look at California...San Fransisco in particular. Honestly, after an earthquake knocks down your city, I think that is a clear sign that it is time to move. At least people on Hawaii had an excuse...they were on an island. When the volcano erupted, what were they supposed to do...swim off the island?

When you really think about it, there are very few places you can live where you aren't facing some sort of "why the hell are you there?" kind of question. The South-West it's mostly heat, the midwest it's the smarmy/disgusting humid heat [which goes for much of the South and New England as well], and then the bitterly cold winters. Montana...snot-freeze days...enough said. Oklahoma...tornados as well as horrible weather.

I mean, you really can't win...unless you go to England. "Church of England, cake or death?" [Eddie Izzard]..... It doesn't get bitterly cold, they don't get earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, they don't get horrible heat....yes it gets a little damp and grey in the winters, but honestly...did you look outside at the weather today in South Bend? Oh, and they have no poisonous plants or animals.

Now my real question for the day is: why the hell did they leave?!? Oh yes, persecution and whatnot....but you would have thought one winter in the US and they would have said 'to hell with this!' and gone back home. Let's see...religious persecution and cake, or bitterly cold winters, malaria, and death....Honestly, this whole "settle the Americas" thing was a good idea why? I mean...I see why it benefited England...but the settlers...not so sure they were quite right in the head, you know. God can test my faith just as well in England, thank you very much. Honestly, I am not the brightest crayon in the box, but I do understand the whole persecution thing. I just would have seriously given it a second thinking over once that whole malaria/winter/death thing was going on.

How to plan a crime with Prof. Dutile

2005-11-30T17:11:00.000-08:00

Dutile: “Suppose we’re sitting in a bar...gosh that’s a recurring hypothetical today. Well, that’s just where these plans are hatched.”
Student: “You know from personal experience?”
Dutile: “I’ve heard! I’ve heard! Actually, I’ve never been in a bar. Oh wait, I never passed a bar. Actually, I did in Maine. It’s a small state, so it was a three question multiple choice test. ‘It is a crime to steal a pine tree; true.’ ‘Lobster is best with butter; true.’ Now where were we? Ah yes, sitting in a bar, eating lobster.”

Talking Trash

2005-11-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

It's strange how my roommate and I are both convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that we were, indeed, the last one to take out the kitchen trash.

Now, this means that we both simply passive-aggressively refuse to take out the trash, because, you see, it is quite clearly the other person's turn to take the trash out.

So we end up in this deadly dance of "can I squish the trash down further into the bag so as to make this last piece of trash fit." Because, of course, if the trash item can fit in the trash can, you clearly do not have a full trash can.

Finally, after days of carefully balancing the newest trash item on top of the mountain rising from your trash can, you realize that the music has stopped and you are sadly without a chair. That this takes longer than actually taking the trash out is beyond the point. It's the principle of the thing.

Now. In my anger as I carried the near-bursting bag of trash out of our apartment to the dumsters, shivering as I had opted not to relayer, I came up with plans to "fix" the problem. I decided to purchase a second kitchen trash can and label each of them with our names. Then, realizing that I am far too cheap and that she probably would sneak a kleenex or napkin into my trash can when I wasn't looking, I changed my mind. What we needed was a piece of paper taped to the wall where we would check off how many times we had taken out the trash and what dates they were on. Then we would finally be organized and I could prove that I am right once and for all! It isn't my turn to take out the trash.

However, I also could just take the three minutes involved and take out the trash myself. But that would be far too logical. I will print the sign today...when I finish procrastinating on it.

- CHRISTINEH: lowering the IQ of the law school gene pool since 2005.

The Rage

2005-11-29T18:56:00.000-08:00

OK. Apparently the Massachusets Court of Appeals needs to go back to law school and learn how to clearly cite a friggin case.

Actually, I'm fairly certain I'm the moron who just doesn't get it. That is apparently what my legal writing professor is kindly trying to hint to me with giant green streaks of rage all across my essays.

That does not detract from the murderous headache I am experiencing right now trying to figure out where a specific quote is coming from. It says Ibid. as it's citation. Great. Just like Id. thank you google.com for enlightening me on that one. It's short for Ibidum or something like that. Useful knowledge perhaps. Now what would be nice is to know if this Ibid. is refering to the See X reference or the cited case which came right before that.

Thank you, Massachusets Court of Appeals for making that crystal friggin clear.

My head hurts and I'm not even done with my "annotated outline."

Please, someone. Just shoot me now and put me out of my misery.

Oh, and another delightful touch, after spending about 15 minutes painstakingly figuring out the appropriate way to cite the statute at bar, I get an email from the professor clarifying what the propper citation should be.

A house divided

2005-11-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm Gary. I'm 5"11, an aquarius, enjoy long walks in soiled snow, and have a hapless crush on a fellow 1L that thus far has manifested itself in several half-hearted study group invitations.

I had a great bible study session the other day. We contrasted Catholicism with other sects of Christianity and concluded that Catholics are simply much more welcoming and less fundamentalist than our Protestant counterparts. Specifically, Protestants think homosexuality is freely chosen. According to the teachings of John Paul II, Catholics believe that it is not a freely chosen condition. We also spoke about how Protestants believe in Creationism and gel-cap it with intelligent design, allowing for easier ingestion. Catholics, on the other hand, reconcile evolution with the hand of God. One "deal breaker", which I wholeheartedly understand and accept, is abortion.

Anyhow, I left the bible study session high on the purported universality of Catholicism. That is, until I read the following article off the Reuters wire:

"The Vatican newspaper said on Tuesday that homosexuality risked 'destabilizing people and society', had no social or moral value and could never match the importance of the relationship between a man and a woman."

For a church that preaches an unconditional culture of life, you would think they would be arguing that certain foreign engagements risk destabilizing society more than love would.

"'The Catholic Church', the article said, 'had a duty to reaffirm its position that homosexuality is 'against conjugal life, the life of the family, and priestly life'."

Really? Against the life of the family? In the United States, gay couples are allowed to adopt in 49 states (exclusing Florida, thanks Bush). That seems like a bit of a contradiction.

"'It (homosexuality) cannot be encouraged or even less so, supported with pastoral initiatives,' it said in an apparent reference to Catholic priests who administer to homosexuals without reminding them of the Church's position against gay sex.

"Administer" is code word for priests giving the Eucharist to homosexuals. We all remember Election 2004. Bishops deciding not to "administer" the Host to John Kerry because of his views on abortion. Now, homosexuals may be denied the Body of Christ. Is this where the battle line will be drawn? At the one sacrament that centrally defines our church? Mere servants of God deciding who is worthy of obtaining the blessings of his only Son? In my heart, this feels completely wrong. It goes contrary to the very definition of Catholicism: universality.

"It said homosexuality was 'a sexual tendency and not an identity' and repeated the Church's stand against allowing gays to marry or to adopt children. It also called homosexuality 'an incomplete and immature part of human sexuality'."

This seems like a complete repudiation of what John Paul II said. But is it really? Just "Google" and you will see yourself how there is a complete split in the Catholic church over this issue. Some say homosexuality is intrinsically wrong. Others deem it acceptable so long as the person does not engage in homosexual acts. What is the answer, then?

Back to bible study. I asked the study leader if there was, in fact, an answer. He responded that the success of the Catholic church is rooted in accepting gradual change. Is that so? Would it have been harmful to immediately phase out indulgences, the anti-pope in Avignon, and rampant Catholic corruption in the Dark Ages?

Scary.

Anyhow, back to the task at hand. What task is that, you may ask? It involves an insane amount of children being electrocuted, a shaken rescue pilot, and a "Good Samaritan" who ended up administering CPR to a dying woman and getting her blood in his mouth and all over his clothing.

Gross, Gary. Gross.

So Sad

2005-11-29T06:29:00.000-08:00

There is something infinitely sad about waking up, crawling out of bed to the computer, opening your email in desperate hope that class might, just might, have been canceled...and discovering nothing more than that golf merchandise is on sale.

Sorry, kiddo, no more sleep for you...but you can get reduced prices on golfing merchandise!

Sigh. Well, time to get dressed and crawl to class.

Boy, you'll be a woman soon.

2005-11-28T22:04:00.000-08:00

IndyStar.Com has a particularly execrable column by Lori Borgman about the evils of feminism. What makes it a really stand-out piece though, is that it’s about the evils of feminism using Maureen Dowd’s book-long complaint of the many ways feminism has failed her as a jumping off point. I like Maureen Dowd as a writer and columnist, but radical feminist she ain’t. Hell, informed feminist she ain’t.

Either way, she’s too much feminist for Borgman, whose paean to the patriarchy is out to assure us manly men that the womenfolk still think we’re pretty awesome, provided we stay manly in the face of the temptations of Dowd’s feminism, which, apparently, is an attempt to make men into women. Thankfully, we’re protected by our manliness, exhibited as per usual by stoicism, inattention, and disinterest.

“Not that the feminist movement didn't try to make men into women. They gave it their best shot over the years, nudging boys to trade in their cowboy hats and chaps for dolls that wet and Suzy Homemaker ovens, and urging men to get in touch with their softer side, emote more frequently and turn from being brutes and oppressors.

Some men accepted the upbraiding without blinking. Others simply said, "Huh?" or "What channel is the game on?"”

Ignore for a moment that feminism has been and still is met with vituperative and occasionally violent opposition and consider the appropriateness of these reactions. All three studiously refuse to address or even acknowledge the feminist critique, here represented by pale caricature. This is an essentially male characteristic for which we should be grateful?

Strangely, though, Borgman herself studiously ignores the critique. She divides feminists into two camps*: bad gender feminists who have abortions and use the word herstory and good equity feminists who want equal pay and equal opportunities. Then, having written a mere single sentence hinting that there is inequity along gender lines, she drops the subject entirely and devotes the rest of the essay to reassuring men that they do good things that women cannot, things like:

Taking responsibility
Being steady
Being protective
Being adventurous
And my personal favorite, teaching boys how to be males.

Now, I don’t know how Borgman squares her belief that men have a monopoly on/are better at taking responsibility and being steady with her belief that women should have equal pay, but I doubt she has thought her position through. Suffice to say that, having recognized economic gender inequity as a bad thing, she immediately proceeds to reinforce the bias that perpetuates it, i.e. that men are naturally better at x simply by virtue of being masculine. She caps this with a question-begging justification for the virtue of masculinity that claims masculinity is good because it teaches…masculinity.

This elevation of the masculine as such is precisely the sort of thing that causes social inequity along gender lines. Putting that aside, though, given the depth and breadth of undebatably abhorrent things like domestic violence, the sex trade, de facto and de jure denial of civic participation, genital mutilation, devaluation of women’s labor, rape, and so forth, shouldn’t the mission of the “good” feminists be given more than one line, instead of spending ink on soothing what Borgman thinks is the male ego?

*The gender feminists Borgman talks about are 1) disposability/superfluousness of men: some second-wave radical feminists 2) abortion: all modern feminists, with the exception of dubiously feminist groups like CWA 3) herstory: postmodern feminists. Actually, I find them pretty irritating too, but that is not to say that they don’t have a point about gendered language or academic study. In any case, Borgman’s distinction only makes sense if one has no grasp of the debates within feminism.

Absolutely Disgusting

2005-11-28T20:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that men and women are basically the same. We all eat, sleep, have similar needs....

Then a good friend calls me and starts a conversation with "You're not going to believe what this guy I work with was saying today..." and I know I'm going to regret replying with "What?". To understand what is going on, you'll need some background.

At Thanksgiving, I went down to stay with a friend instead of flying home to see my family. After dinner, my friend and I got into our jammies and after a few glasses of wine, we decided it would be fun to play with our other friend's new camera lens.

So, the people involved are me, another female, and a male friend of ours [who ended up her boyfriend by the end of the weekend]. So us girls are on the sofa and we take a picture that looks compromising. The pose is a bit tricky, but as a joke, I grabbed her right breast to see if the guy would notice since he had spent the last 5 minutes fiddling with the camera. What appears to be happening in the picture is that I am groping her breast while she has her arm between my legs. In actuality, my legs are tucked under me and her arm is just draped across my thighs with her hand hanging off the sofa out of the picture.

What appears to be happening is some girl on girl action, though that wasn't the case. If that had been the case, I would have been less horrified by the phone call I got from my friend....

So, the female in the picture with me is putting all the pictures from the weekend into a little photo album and is editing the pictures on her computer so that they are not blurry and have no red eyes. The picture in question is on her computer screen when her male coworker [she is in the military] approaches her.

Apparently this man's first comment is: "Can I have her number?" [This is refering to me.]

At this point in my phone conversation with my friend, I roll my eyes. She knows a swift death will follow if she gives out my phone number. I'm happily taken, thank you very much.

No, no, no. Nothing that innocent. His next comment to her after she said I had a boyfriend was, "Does she do anal?"

Anyone who knows me knows that, while I am admittedly open minded about most things, that happens to be something I simply refuse to do. Yuck.

After this, the conversation progressed to him wanting to either watch me do my friend with a strap-on or do him with the strap-on [if not both].

My personal favorite comment that my friend related to me from this conversation was, "Holy shit, I want to pour milk down her breasts and lick it off while jacking off on her."

OK. Milk is delicious and nutritious, but please do not include it in sexual fantasies involving my body. Please do not have sexual fantasies about my body in general, and if you do, please do not voice them aloud [unless you are my boyfriend]. There are very few things I want licked off of my body...and I can frankly say milk is not among them.

I was annoyed after the anal and strap-on comments.... But how much of a wierdo do you have to be to want to masturbate while licking milk off of a strange woman's body?

Apparently, there are some things women will never understand [and I seriously hope most men do not understand either.]

I just feel violated now.